Rock-N-Roll Fantasy: Phase One? Complete. (M)

So every kid in America (at least when I was a kid) wanted to be either an Astronaut or a rock star. There were garage bands everywhere, kids taking guitar lessons, beating on trash cans. I had years of piano lessons and my fingers could just never get out of their "classical" mode; I was very much a mimic, and not at all a creative force on the piano. I finally stopped playing all together at around 20. When my husband and I got our own house I moved my childhood piano into it though, in the hopes that one day I'd sit down at it again. It's still sitting there, but at least these days I'm trying to pick out other people's songs on it.

I've always kind of toyed with singing. I never had any formal training as a kid, and my brother and sister were merciless in their hatred of my voice. "Who's that singing on the radio?" "Journey," I'd say. "Then let them SING IT!" That was the mildest of retorts, but it really didn't take long for me to utterly believe that I had the worst singing voice on the planet and I should just keep my trap shut. Still, I had a love for all things harmony and whenever I'd hear new stuff back then (Madonna or Taylor Dayne, for instance) I'd sing the background harmonies loudly when I was alone. Sometimes I'd forget where I was and at least once someone listening said to me "how'd you learn that harmony? Can you teach it to me?" Hmmmmm. Interesting.

Flash forward about 20 years. My darling husband played in bands (as a lead vocalist, no less) through most of his teens and twenties. About 10 years into our relationship we both realized we had let our creative sides be totally repressed by our work and business sides. One trip to Burlington, IA where Marion spent his teen years changed things for me. His friends have four children, and for family night they would gather in the basement and perform to karaoke tracks. I was enjoying hanging out in the back of the room listening, when one of them says "Hey, you should sing something." Well of course I refused: I have the world's worst voice according to my siblings. (Wait, did I just quote my then 11-year-old sister? Sheesh!) I didn't want to use the mic, so I sat in the back and belted out something (no idea what) and for a second my husband and friends were stunned. One, that I actually did it, and two, that it didn't break mirrors like I told them it would. Truth be told, noone was more surprised than I was.

Not long after that trip, I started doing theater again for the first time in 18 years, and he started singing in a band again, for the first time in at least 20 years. Just a couple of years later we left the landlocked city we were in and headed to the coast where each of us has learned to balance our lives a lot more. We started making friends with other creative people, and we met this absolutely amazing female lead guitar player. Another year later, and I'm performing in an acoustic duo. Singing, and coordinating the harmonies for us. Holy shit. Another friend, the most amazing keyboard player I've ever met in person, likes what we do so much that he wants to join us and make it a trio. Are you f'ing kidding me? Are you sure you were listening to the right people?

We have a regular gig on Wednesdays through the summer. We're picking up other stuff as we go. The keyboard player may have to jet for a job as a car salesman, but my duo partner and I think we can pull it off by ourselves. And even as I type these words, I still can't believe it's me. At the age of 40, "fronting" my first band. Rock-N-Roll Fantasy: Phase 1? Complete.