A Testament to Our Kindred Spiritness

I was just sitting here working like a fiend when it occurred to me that Facebook is the Devil. Beelzebub, Death Rusher, Time Stealer, Old Age Maker...you know, the Devil. I was thinking, "Huh, I haven't written on the blog in a while, maybe I should write a post about Facebook. In fact, I haven't even checked our blog in a while...wonder what my girls are up to?" When what to my wondering eyes should appear... but a like-minded rant, and all without beer! Ok, ok, I was forced to make it rhyme...sue me.

Which really all just goes to show...you can't fuck with kizmit. It will have its way. And thank holy crapinola for that.

Night of the Living Facebook

Speaking of Facebook, I've got two friend suggestions. One is a former member of my band, who actually lives in my neighborhood and I see around town. We have lots of the same friends and we're on totally friendly terms but have a wierd and awkward history that involves a drunken assault, passive aggressiveness, artistic differences and myriad other vagaries. I'm sure we've disappointed each other on many levels, despite the fact we both have mellowed since those days. There are also a lot of good and fun memories there, let it be said. I'd be totally fine inviting him and his family over for a neighborhood Sunday BBQ but I'm not sure we want to know every detail of our current lives in real-time. I wonder if my name is sitting there, unclicked on, in his friend suggestion box too.

The other is a friend from college during which I had a huge flirtation that never went anywhere due to the fact that I had a boyfriend at home. His personality at the time: wild, witty, smart as hell, piss-the-bed drunkenness, midnight motorcycle wheelies and a penchant for eccentric nonconformism for its own sake (a preacher's kid, need I say more?). I have no idea what he's doing now, and although I could find out with the click of a button, I kind of almost don't want to know. It's one glorious memory that should stay the way it is.

I also have a friend request from someone from my high school whose name sounds familiar but I can't recall a single conversation we might have had. She has something like three million friends and could be someone who collects 'friends' like serial killers collect souvenirs of their victims. Every once in a while I get a similar urge, just to see how many people I could accumulate. But what's the point of that? Will it make up for being an unpopular freak in high school? Not that I actually mind being that freak, I'm pretty happy to let that flag fly, actually. Maybe I am not cut out for the social applications of the oughts, just like I wasn't for the actual social interaction of the 80s and 90s.

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, vacillating wildly and frequently on its usefulness, but there is one thing I'm sure of: some memories of people should stay they way they were made, dying young and making a good-looking corpse. The alternate is a Zombie Friend, it looks and walks and talks like a friend but is actually an empty hull that wants to eat your brains.

Jesus is a Republican? (L)

Recently someone from my Tennessee past posted an anti-Obama status. Personally, I think political status updates outside of elections are tiresome (unless I agree with you, of course). Then someone responded to her telling of a bumper sticker they had seen saying "I'm a Christian, I own a gun, and I'm a Democrat." They went on to further imply that all three can't be true. I defriended her. (Not that all of my "friends" on Facebook are pro-Obama, but this comment from someone I barely know was just more aggravation than I needed that day.) It was either that or post these comments:

Really? Jesus was a Republican? I must have missed that part of the New Testament!

I'd say actually if I had to put Jesus in any political category, he'd be more of a liberal. Remember all that eating with whores and lepers? How about the mulitiplying the loaves and fish to feed the masses? I know the whole abortion thing doesn't jive with most people's view of Jesus, but I'd say the Republican Party's support of the death penalty probably balances that one out. I'll bet Jesus would actually say what is in someone's heart is more pertinent to their faith than which box they check off on a ballot.

Remember that little part of the Bible when Jesus was asked which commandments were the most important and he said "Love God above all others and love your neighbor as you love youself"? Ummmm, I don't think he gave any implication of an addendum of "unless you don't agree with their political views, or they are gay, or a different race than you, or they just smell like sinners to you."

If you're going to go about proclaiming to be a good Christian, you might want to review what that means.

I thought it was easier to defriend her.

(Now in defense of my friend in the previous post, I have to say, her mother was what I would consider to be a true Christian, and chances are, she is too.)

My favorite line regarding all of this comes from "30 Rock". Kenneth the Christian page says he doesn't believe in voting so he always just writes in "Our Lord Jesus Christ" on the ballot. Jack (Alec Baldwin) says "that's Republican. We count those."