I am determined to write a new post, so I don't have to keep looking at my yearnful "poem." Trouble is, I don't know what to write. When we started this, we agreed it'd be a place to throw thoughts, frequently, with no worry to the quality of the writing. Now, I'm out to prove it. I am going to write a thoughtless bit, full of some of my current thoughts. Hey, ever keep a journal in the past? Maybe we should type in one of those passages, with or without our current reflections on them...
How about I talk about addictions? Recently learned that kids who do alcohol, tobacco, or any drugs before age 16 are more likely to become dependent on them because their frontal lobes are still forming, and they create receptors for the "drug" that wouldn't otherwise be there. Their brain develops around the drug and creates more of those receptors setting them up for needing it.
Is this, perhaps, why I seem to be so addicted to ALL the things I did before I was 16, or shortly thereafter? Boys, kissing, laughing, fun, music, revealing clothes, beer, boys, dancing, late nights, friends, reading, movies, being lazy, boys...? Is this why I don't seem to be officially a grown up? I can't seem to make those good choices of what is "best" for me. Is my 16 year old brain the culprit for why knuckling down, doing hard work, cleaning, and being disciplined are so difficult for me? Because I was never made to do them when my brain was forming? I clearly need to create some new brain receptors.
